


Go on, cast him out; he will still shine brighter than all the stars you took from him

by Des98



Series: Chloe’s Lightbringer [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Found Family, God is a dick, Lucifer is a BAMF, Lucifer is a lovestruck dork, M/M, Multiverse fun!, Our favourite ineffable husbands meet the Lucigang!, Powerful Lucifer, Supernatural Shenanigans, but it helps and it's definitely HELLA fun, chloe decker queen of hell, if they do say so themselves, multichapter fic, they like him far better than their own satan, you don't need to have read or watched good omens to understand this story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-03-20 02:01:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18982930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Des98/pseuds/Des98
Summary: Lucifer is happier than he’s ever been before.  Finally out of hell, living primarily on earth, with his queen by his side, he finally feels like he belongs somewhere.  But when celestial anomalies start showing up and none of Lucifer’s divine contacts seem to be able to make heads or tail of the issue, he begins to worry that his peace and the people he loves are being threatened.  Could dear old Dad be behind this, and if so, what kind of game is he playing this time?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I’ve had this idea rattling around in my head for a while, and now that my muse seems to wanna write some Lucific (sorry to anyone waiting for a Harry Potter update, she’s still being kinda bitchy on that front) I thought that I would incorporate this into this series that I’ve started.

    Dan and Ella may have taken some time to adjust to the idea of Lucifer being the devil (although for Ella, it was more about grappling with the idea of once again giving up on her newly-regained faith, as she couldn’t stomach the idea of worshipping a deity who would treat their child the way God treated Lucifer), but by the time he’d come back from his so-called business trip in hell, they were glad to see him.  They couldn’t deny that they’d missed their insufferable smartass, devine or not. Not that they’d actually seen all that much of him that first week, when Chloe took time off to ‘catch up’ with her lover and Dan had taken Trixie for a few days and everyone knew better than to stop by either Lux’s penthouse or Chloe’s apartment lest they hear things that they most certainly would rather not (ie: the loud, explicit sounds of enthusiastic and _divine_ lovemaking vis-a-vis the king and queen of hell).

    Soon, however, things were more or less back to normal, or at least, what normal came to be for them.  Lucifer still had to leave for a few days every month to go take care of things in his domain, and this time, Chloe insisted on going with him whenever he did.  He had protested at first (“Detecti- _Chloe,”_ he’d pleaded, “hell is no place for someone as pure as you.”)  But she’d insisted, reminding him that he’d made her his queen and partner in both life and afterlife, and in the end he could deny her nothing.  And since days on Earth equated years in hell, Chloe would come back each time, arm in arm with Lucifer, her eyes a little wiser and her back a little straighter as she divested herself of long, dark dresses in rich materials and the crown of starlight that Lucifer had made for her to mark her as his equal in the eyes of his demons.  Then she would carefully dissasemble the elaborate hairstyles that her demon handmaiden would create every morning, taking the jewels out of golden locks and setting them gently on the nightstand as she and Lucifer shared a long, hot shower in their bathroom at Lux to rid themselves of the smell of sulfur.

    Dan and Ella would muse to each other that although Lucifer had been forced to be a king and had only taken the crown reluctantly, first because he was forced to and then later out of duty, Chloe seemed made to be a queen.  She had never been the type to back down from a challenge or shirk away from asserting her opinions even if everyone else disagreed with her, but now more than ever she carried with her an air of authority wherever she went.  Subordinates were far more likely to abandon whatever idle conversation that they had been engaging in and snap to attention whenever she so much as entered a room, and even their lieutenant would often ask for her advice or defer to her opinions on work matters.  Chloe Decker had always been a boss, but now she had become a true queen, both in and out of hell.

    Lucifer, however, was much the same as he’d always been, except for the fact that he seemed even more-head-over heels for Chloe, which nobody would have believed was possible if they hadn’t witnessed him somehow becoming more and more lovestruck with every day that passed.  Everywhere they went, both men and women were eagerly trying to catch his attention and he didn’t even notice, having eyes only for Chloe, and even Ella admitted that the achingly soft expression in his eyes as he looked at her was almost _too_ gooey (key word being _almost._ Ella was definitely Deckerstar’s biggest fangirl).

    “Man, she’s got you really whipped,” a new uniformed officer had commented to Lucifer one casual Friday as he entered the precinct, heading towards the detective’s desk with a lemon square and her favorite coffee while wearing his ‘relaxed’ combo of jeans, leather jacket, and one of the many shirts he’d had made in an array of different colors that proudly sported the words “Chloe Decker’s Boyfriend,” across the chest.

    “That she does,” the devil sighed dreamily, not even sparing a glance at the uní as he continued his eager pursuit towards the detective.  “I’m so lucky.” It didn’t even occur to him that the officer had meant it as a snide comment on the state of his supposed ‘masculinity,’ (gender roles not being something that the devil had ever subscribed to or even really understood all that well).  To him, there was no greater honor than that of belonging to Chloe Decker, heart and soul. And honestly, after so many years of being forced to sit on a throne he never wanted and of being always placed in a position of authority and control in one manner or another by both his demons and the opinions of humanity (even if it was a negative sort of control that they reflected onto him), the idea of yielding control to Chloe and of allowing someone else to take the lead for once was honestly one of the greatest gifts he had ever received.

    “Mmm, thank you babe,” Chloe smiled as he placed her perfectly-made latte on her desk and titled her head up to meet his lips in a soft peck (but not before rolling her eyes at his ridiculous t-shirt).  She took a sip. “This is even better than usual,” she remarked in surprise. “Did you go to a different coffee shop?”

    “That one in Florence that you liked so much,” Lucifer informed her proudly.  “We closed that huge case last night, so I thought you deserved a special treat for your magnificent detective work.”

    Chloe sighed fondly.  Of course her dorky devil boyfriend would pull his wings out and go all the way to Italy for her morning coffee just because he was proud of her for doing her job.

    “Well thank you,” she told him, squeezing his hand affectionately.  “I know you think it’s not that big a deal since angels can cross the world in a second or whatever, but to me its hugely thoughtful and you absolutely didn’t have to go to that much trouble.”

    “Oh, but it’s no trouble at all, detective,” he informed her cheerfully (and he still called her by ‘detective’ more often than not, saving her name for soft, intimate moments and whispered worship in the bedroom, and Chloe loved that about him).  “Besides, every time I walk through that piazza, I’m reminded of that weekend you and I spent in that little villa, and the way you looked in that dress…”

    “You mean before the waitress spilled pesto all over it because she was too busy staring at you to pay attention to where she was walking?” Chloe asked him, chuckling at the memory.

    “No detective, I’m quite sure she was staring at you.  Everyone who saw you that night was positively captivated by your radiance, I’m sure.”  

    Chloe smiled; her devil never lied, and it was so immensely touching to know that he believed that what he was saying was true and not just trying to flatter her like any other guy might.  Nevertheless, she remembered it a little differently; everyone they’d passed that night had slipped their gaze right over Chloe and onto Lucifer, who had looked magnificent in a deep blue suit, his curls loose and giving him a charming, innocent look since Chloe had persuaded him to go without the product for once (although, there wasn’t really much persuasion involved; she only had to ask for anything with Lucifer, and he would give it freely).  But Lucifer’s eyes had been only on her, his belief firm that nothing in the world could be more captivating a sight than her in a loose white sundress, and having the eyes and heart of her devil meant more to Chloe than anything else could ever hope to equal.

    “Uh-huh, _sure,”_ she laughed, rolling her eyes again, and Lucifer just sat on the arm of her chair and pushed a strand of golden hair behind her ear with an unbelievable softness.  He had spent 977 years, 82 days, 21 hours, and 15.34 seconds without her in hell, and every moment had only served to strengthen his love for her. Even six earth months (and 21 years interim in hell during their monthly business trips) later, with her by his side, it was as if the rest of the world didn’t even exist.

    “Luuuuce,” Ella snapped her fingers suddenly- or, it seeemed suddenly to Lucifer; the forensic scientist had clearly been trying to get his attention for a while now).  “Earth to Lucifer!”

    Reluctantly, the devil tore his gaze away from his detective and settled it on his friend.  “Apologies, Ms. Lopez. What is it you were saying?”

    Ella laughed.  “Seriously, you guys are so cute, but let’s try to keep our mind on the job for a couple hours, yeah?  I was just saying that another case came in, so you might wanna get your feathered butt out there and help us solve some crime, yeah?”

    Lucifer prickled indignantly.  “I will have you know, Ms. Lopez, that my arse is not feathered.  You should know- you’ve seen it, after all.”

    From the desk across from them, Dan rolled his eyes.  “Whatever, Big Bird, just get moving.”

    The devil bristled again, glaring at Dan before turning begging eyes on Chloe.  “Darling,” he asked her sweetly. “May I _please_ murder him?  Just a little bit?  I’ll have my sister bring him back afterwards.”

    Chloe rolled her eyes and layed a placating hand on his arm.  “No Lucifer, you may not murder our friends. And Dan, stop calling him names; you know how vain he is.”

    “Vain, _moi?”_ Lucifer asked, mock-outraged.  “Why detective, I am _hurt_ that you would think such a thing!  Hurt to my core!”

    “Come on, you big doofus.”  Chloe kissed him on the cheek, causing his cheeks to redden and a beaming smile to appear on his face as she dragged him out to their patrol car by the arm.  As usual, he followed without complaint.

_______

    The body was found in a dance studio- the ID found by the body labeled her as 19-year-old college student Mariela Dominguez-Morillo.  While tragic, there was nothing to label her murder as anything particularly unusual- a single stab wound through the stomach, no signs of forced entry, nothing stolen from her bag that they could tell: all signs pointed to an unplanned crime of passion.  And yet Lucifer froze as soon as he entered the room.

    Chloe noticed immediately, followed quickly by Dan and Ella.  They pulled Lucifer to the side, his eyes still lingering on the corpse (perhaps the longest time he hadn’t looked at Chloe while in her presence since he’d come back from Hell).

    “What is it?” She asked him, concerned.  “Did you know this girl? Do her a favour?  It might help us solve the case.”

    “I don’t know her,” Lucifer shook his head, his voice just barely above a whisper.  “But the corpse feels… different. Whatever soul has just fled this body, it wasn’t the first one it’s been in.”

    “You mean like reincarnation?” Ella asked curiously, catching on.  “I didn’t know that you guys did that.”

    “We don’t…” Lucifer shook his head, clearly still dazed.  “There’s no way I’d let any of my souls out into new bodies to fall into their old patterns, and no mortal in their right mind would want to leave the silver city.”  They all purposely ignored the way he said ‘mortal,’ but Chloe squeezed his hand in support. She knew just as he did that Heaven was an entirely different place for angels than it was for humans (especially rebellious angels).

    “So then… where’s it from?  Heaven or Hell? It’s gotta be one or the other,” Dan ventured cautiously.

    “This soul has never touched hell,” Lucifer said decisively. “You can still feel the faint aura of it around the body.   Feel it, darling,” Lucifer prodded, gently guiding Chloe’s gloved hand to rest on the corpse. “See how it’s free of any of our kingdom?  That’s purely heaven’s light.”

    Chloe’s eyes widened as she gripped Lucifer’s hand tighter.  “It… it feels sort of like you, almost…” she breathed reverently.

    “A little bit,” he conceded.  “After all, I did give light to the heavens, so it’s only natural that the souls there would feel touched by my essence.  But there’s none of hell on it, which brings me back to the main point- this is a reincarnated soul from the silver city, and it shouldn’t be here.”

    “So nobody ever _chooses_ to reincarnate?” Dan asked curiously.  “Like, ever?”

    “It’s never even been an option.”  Lucifer shook his head. “And yet, this soul… I’d place it at around 120 years old.  A young female, both times… if she was in heaven until nineteen years ago, I can’t imagine why she’d…” he trailed off suddenly.

    “Luce?  What is it?” Ella asked, concerned.

    “It’s… it’s entering another body…”

    “What?!” Dan asked, alarmed.  “Where?”

    “Maybe 12 miles from here.  That’d be…” he pulled out his phone, “Kindred Hospital.  She should have gone straight back to heaven, but instead she’s being reincarnated again… something is very, very wrong.”

    __________

    As soon as they’d wrapped up the preliminaries of the case and gotten off work that evening, the four of them called Linda and Amenadiel and Gathered at the penthouse at Lux.  Trixie was playing with Charlie a floor down, where Lucifer had set up an arcade room his basically-step-daughter and a playpen for his nephew, and they had the baby monitor on, so they could talk freely without worrying about the children.

    “Should we call Maze and Eve in for this?” Chloe asked, worrying her lip.  

    “No, we’ll leave them for now. We don’t even know what we’re dealing with yet, and Maze would have my head if I interrupted her vacation with her girlfriend for a heaven-related issue,” Lucifer replied.

    “Okay, but that still leaves the question about what is happening here, and what we should do about it,” Amenadiel piped up, looking pensive.  “Granted, father hasn’t exactly been interacting with his children very much lately, but I think we would have heard if he suddenly wanted to start reincarnating souls…”

    “Well, either he doesn’t know about it, which is unlikely, or he didn’t want to tell you lot,” Lucifer piped back, a bit snappily.  Chloe couldn’t blame him- God was a dick.

    “Maybe we should start with the new baby… Mariela’s soul,” Ella suggested.  “If we could see her, maybe that would give us a place to start.”

    “What?” Dan interjected.  “Just show up in a maternity ward we have no business being in?  This isn’t exactly an LAPD matter, and in case you didn’t notice, none of us are pregnant!”

    Lucifer snorted.  “Well Daniel, there goes my theory for your mood swings and horrendous taste in pudding.”

    Chloe smacked him playfully while Dan grumbled something under his breath.  “Very funny, babe, but maybe we should stay on track?”

    “Right.”  Lucifer cleared his throat.  “Well, getting into the maternity wards shouldn’t be a problem. I donate frequently to all the hospitals in LA, so they’d likely be glad to see me.”

    “Really?” Chloe asked.  “I didn’t know that.”

    “I suppose it just never came up.”  The devil shrugged, looking shy all of the sudden.  “Right. I’ll call in a favor for someone to come watch the offspring.  Shall we head out?”

_______

    “Wow,” Chloe muttered as they entered the sliding glass doors.  “What a trip down memory lane. I’m not sure if I ever mentioned it, but Trixie was born here.”

    “You did, actually,” Lucifer told her, smiling.  “December 12, 2016. We were on a stakeout.”

    Daniel and Ella blinked at him.  “Eidetic memory,” Chloe explained.

    As soon as they reached the front desk, the receptionist immediately came running out from behind the counter, tackling Lucifer around the middle in a ginormous hug.

    “Mr. Morningstar, it’s so great to see you!” She squealed gleefully.  

    “You two know each other?” Amenadiel asked, amused.

    “Of course!  Everyone loves Mr. Morningstar over here!  He makes regular donations to the hospital, and of course all the mothers who give birth here rave about the Beatrice fund.”

    “The Beatrice fund?” Chloe asked curiously, looking at her boyfriend.

    “Oh, he hasn’t told you?  Of course he hasn’t, that’s our Lucifer.  So modest.” Behind her, Dan snorted- _modest_ was the last word he’d use to describe Lucifer.  The woman continued undeterred. “Every baby born here in the maternity ward at Kindred gets a trust fund, courtesy of Mr. Morningstar.  It’s a huge blessing, especially for a lot of our low-income families, who don’t have to stress themselves out as much over saving for college.”

    “Lucifer, you did that?”  Chloe’s gaze was so full of love that it nearly broke him.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

    “Again, it never really came up…” he scuffed his shoe against the linoleum, blushing shyly in the way that only Chloe could bring out in him.

    “You’re a lucky woman, detective,” the receptionist laughed, winking at Chloe.  “I’ve never heard about anyone talk about someone as sweetly as he talks about you.”  This time it was Chloe’s turn to blush, and she reached for Lucifer’s hand, entwining their fingers together.

    “So, what brings you lovely young people here today?”  The woman broke the silence, somewhat self-conscious on the part of those witnessing what seemed like a very private moment for Lucifer and Chloe.

    “Oh, uh, we were hoping to um… see the babies.  You know, the recipients of the um… Beatrice fund,” Dan broke in, coughing awkwardly.

    “Oh, of course!” The receptionist, a short, squat middle aged woman with a name tag that said Leanne, beckoned them forward brightly.  “Right this way! We’ve had six births so far today, four girls and three boys- one of our moms had twins, you know.”

    “Aww, I love twins!” Ella cooed.  She knew that they had a mission, but well… babies!  Surely they could take a few moments to look at all of them…

    “Yes ma’am- been a while since we had a twin birth.  But that’s not even the most interesting thing that happened today- we had a near-miracle with the second baby born.  A little girl. We were worried we were looking at a stillbirth, you know: there was a crimp in the umbilical cord and the baby wasn’t getting enough oxygen.  Couldn’t find a pulse, but then all of the sudden…”

    The group looked at each other knowingly.  They reached the ward, and Leanna smiled brilliantly at them as she motioned to all the cribs behind the glass window.  “Well, here they are! If you’d like to see them up closer, you’re welcome to ask a nurse, but for now I’ve got to get back to work.”

    “Are any of these, you know… Mariela?” Ella asked tentatively, once the receptionist was beyond hearing range.

    Lucifer nodded.  “Third one to the right.  That’s definitely her. The soul’s taken to the body well, so that’s good.  It could have been a disaster, putting a soul in a body that wasn’t made for it, especially when another soul had recently vacated it.  Baby or not, we’re very lucky that we’re not looking at a huge mess.”

    “Would… would Rae-Rae know anything about that?” Ella questioned, having learned the truth about her ‘ghost’ shortly after learning the truth about Lucifer.  She had been rather upset about it, and they’d had a long talk afterwards.

    “No, I don’t think so, Ms. Lopez.  Azrael is only responsible for taking dead souls _out_ of bodies; she wouldn’t be the one to put them back in.  In fact, there _is_ no angel responsible for that, because it shouldn’t be happening at all.”

    “So that’s Mariela?” Daniel changed the subject.  “Any chance we could ask her who killed her?” He chuckled weakly.

    “No, Daniel,” Lucifer rolled his eyes.  “It doesn’t work like that. A soul is… connected to but independent of the life it has lived, the memories it has collected.  For all that this is uncharted territory, I can tell you that much. Our victim might have had dreams… flashes of a past life, but she would have dismissed them as such.  If I couldn’t pick up any more than the relative time period and basic age of her first life, there’s no chance that she would have been able to. This baby is, for all intents and purposes, a normal baby.  Perhaps she’ll be a bit wiser than normal, have some startling insights into the way the world works, but she shouldn’t seem much different from any other precocious human offspring.”

    Just then, a young woman in a hospital gown wandered over to them.

    “You are señor Morningstar?” She asked him in heavily accented English.

    “Sí, señorita,” he responded in perfect Spanish, and for the second time that day, a strange woman threw her arms around him in a hug.

    “Gracias,” she wailed into his shoulder, beginning to cry.  “Es debido a tu ayuda que puedo crecer mi niña. Hace seis meses desde murió mi esposo, y soy joven y trabajo como criada, y yo no pudiera pagar los gastos para mi bebe sin el fiduciario.”

    “What did she say?” Linda whispered to Ella.

    “Her husband’s dead, and she wouldn’t have been able to afford to raise her daughter without Lucifer’s donation,” Ella responded.  Then she turned to the mother.

    “¿Y cual es tu hija?” She asked gently.

    “Ella allá,” she declared, pointing at the baby that they were all there to see.  “Se llama Estrella.”

    Lucifer tensed, surprised. Estrella meant ‘star.’  The woman had named her daughter after him. Dan and Ella, the other Spanish speakers in the group, gave him a small smile.  He pulled a business card out of his pocket.

    “Tómalo,” he told her gently, pressing the card into her hand. “Siempre necesitamos cantineras y camareras en Lux.  Pagamos buen salario, y no es necesario los papeles o greencard. Quiero que me llame.”

    The woman took the card very carefully, smiling brilliantly at Lucifer all the while.  “Gracias,” she whispered, hugging him again, before she eagerly went to grab her baby.

    “Aquí,” she ordered, all but shoving the baby into Lucifer's arms.  “Abrazarla.”

    Lucifer looked surprised, barely managing to grip the baby as her mother smiled at him.  He looked more than a little awkward, but the sight was endearing, and Chloe’s heart lit up.  At any rate, she wasn’t the only one in the group who had whipped their phone out to take pictures.  He bounced her carefully, still looking at the bundle as though it might explode, before handing her back to her mother as quickly as could be considered polite.

    The woman thanked him again before wandering back to her room with the child held carefully to her breast, dark tangles of hair swinging around her waist as she sang to the baby.  A nurse ran up to her quickly, trying to tell her to ask someone else to get the baby next time so they wouldn’t worry that she’d been kidnapped. The mother nodded her assent, although her attention was still clearly on her daughter.  

    The entire time this was occurring, Lucifer had been glancing worriedly at Chloe, who could read him easily, and knew he was concerned that she might want that again, wish for a child he could not give her and resent him for it.

    “Don’t worry,” she whispered, squeezing his arm softly.  “I remember those days fondly, but I certainly don’t miss being woken up by a screaming baby every two hours.  I like our family just the way we are.”

    “Family…” Lucifer rolled the word around on his tongue, softly, like he’d never really heard it before, and Chloe realized with some sadness that he hadn’t known that that was what they were, that that was what she and Trixie saw him as.  She reached up to kiss his cheek.

    “Come on,” she told him.  “Let’s go home. We’ll watch a movie and order pizza and we can figure out what all this means tomorrow.”

    He wrapped his arm around her; that sounded far better than heaven ever had.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly just cute domestic fluff, but I also put another plot point into motion. Hope you guys enjoy!

Chloe stretched languidly when she awoke the next morning, still feeling delightfully sensitive.  She knew that her Lucifer didn’t like doors, but _boy_ was she glad that he’d put one on Trixie’s room in the penthouse, and had taken the extra step to soundproof the walls.  Looking over at Lucifer’s side of the bed, she saw that it was empty, and the smell of bacon wafting through the apartment and Trixie’s eager chatter from the direction of the kitchen gave her a pretty good idea of where he was.

    “Good morning, my queen,” he greeted her with a kiss on the cheek as he pulled homemade cinnamon rolls out of the oven, wearing the unicorn-themed oven mitts Trixie had gotten him for father’s day, since he hadn’t actually needed to _own_ a pair until Chloe started spending a lot of time at the penthouse (and he _hadn’t_ cried at the gesture, no matter what anybody else might tell you).

    “My king,” she smiled up at him, licking up a bit of glaze that had worked its way onto his nose somewhere along the line.  

    Trixie squealed in delight, as she always did whenever Lucifer and her mom were being cute.

    “Mommy!” She declared gleefully!  “Look! Lucifer made cinnamon rolls _and_ strawberry French toast!”

    “I see that, monkey,” Chloe laughed, reaching for a piece of bacon (which was made just the way she liked it- just crispy enough that it held its shape, but not so crispy that it tasted burnt).  “Lucifer definitely indulges your sweet tooth, maybe more than he should.” She raised an eyebrow at him.

    “Oh come now, Detective, that’s not fair.  She has your puppy dog eyes; I couldn’t refuse her anything even if I wanted to.”  Lucifer gave her a big shot of _his_ own patented puppy eyes, and Chloe could only roll her eyes and kiss him again.

    “You big dope,” she whispered against his lips, and his eyes shot open as he looked at her with wide, hungry brown eyes.

    “Now now darling, is that anyway to talk to your devil?” He teased, reaching out to squeeze her right above her hips, where she knew she was ticklish.  She laughed, dodging, and then threw herself up into his arms, wrapping her legs around his torso and kissing him again.

    “Mmmph,” he mumbled, stumbling back a step.  Even supernatural strength couldn’t prepare him for having an armful of beautiful detective, and his eyes widened just like it was the first time he’d laid eyes on her, like he couldn’t believe that someone this stunning even existed.  Chloe laughed at his expression and then pulled his face down to hers, and he shifted her so that he was supporting her with one arm, his free hand coming up to tangle in her hair.

    Trixie giggled and rolled her eyes.  “I’m just gonna take my food and go eat in front of the tv in my room,” she informed them, knowing that she could get away with just about anything right now.  “And I’m also gonna take a piece of the chocolate cake that Lucifer made last night.”

    “Sure monkey,” Chloe mumbled, barely cognizant of anything but Lucifer’s long, gorgeous piano fingers splayed against her ass.  “Anything you want.”

    “Really?” Trixie cocked her head, really taking advantage.  “Can I order a new case for my tablet?”

    “Credit card is on the table,” Lucifer mumbled distractedly, forehead against Chloe’s.

    Trixie squealed in delight; she _loved_ Lucifer’s credit card.  He had literally no limits, and he never looked at his statements, so she knew that she could _also_ order that new Hulkbuster lego set and no one would be the wiser.  She grabbed her plate, opened the fridge, swiped the card off the breakfast table, and well, if nobody noticed that she’d grabbed the _entire_ cake instead of just a slice, well… so much the better for her.

_______

    They emerged in the late afternoon, and Chloe knocked on Trixie’s door.

    “Hey monkey, whatcha doing?”

    “Playing Candy Crush.  I’m like, really close to beating Lucifer’s high score.”

    “Dammit,” the aforementioned devil swore.

    Chloe batted him on the arm.  “Alright Trix, but after that you need to read a book or something for a while, alright?”

    “Sure mommy.”

    “Good girl.  Are you hungry?”

    Trixie shook her head.  “Nope, I ordered pizza about an hour ago.  There’s more on the table; I figured you’d be hungry.”  She gave her parents a knowing look (and Lucifer was as good as, at this point.  So much so that when he was out with her and Daddy, people thought that they were a couple.  Lucifer thought this was hilarious. Daddy, not so much..).

    Chloe blushed and Lucifer threw his head back and laughed.  “Thank you spawn, that was quite considerate of you.”

    Three pizzas and a pot of Lucifer’s magnificent coffee later, and Lucifer was helping Trixie with her math homework.

    “I really hate it when people accuse Satan of inventing this madness,” he grumbled as he took the eraser and balanced one of her equations.  “I would _never…”_

    Trixie took a sip of her lemonade and watched her step-Satan basically do her homework for her, congratulating herself on her idea to do just enough of the problem that Lucifer fixing them seemed like ‘helping’ and not doing all the heavy lifting.  Normally, her mommy would have caught on, but she had her eyes closed and her head tilted back as she held the steaming cup of espresso Lucifer had made her, so she was basically lost to them for another fifteen minutes or so. Plenty of time for Lucifer to put x wherever the heck it was supposed to go.  Or it would have been, if his phone hadn’t rung.

    “Pardon me offspring, it’s Mazey.  Gotta take this.”

    Trixie’s irritation immediately evaporated.  “Maze!” She cried, elated. “Put her on speaker!”

    Lucifer hit ‘accept’ and complied, putting the phone on the table.

    “Hello Maze, you’re on speaker,” he warned her, in case she had called him mid-sex with Eve.  Demons weren’t at all shy about that sort of thing, and normally he wouldn’t have minded if not for Beatrice.   _Knowing_ that her mother and Lucifer sometimes went off to have ‘naked time’ and actually bearing witness to said ‘naked time’ were two completely different things, after all.

    “Cool.”  And Lucifer could almost see her waving him aside.

    “Well, someone sounds excited,” the devil teased her, as Eve’s voice could be heard in the background.

    “Did you tell him yet?” Maze’s girlfriend asked, sounding far more gleeful than even her normal level of exuberance.  

    “Tell us what?” Trixie piped up, sliding her homework to the side, all but forgotten.

    “I have a soul!” Maze sounded more emotional than Lucifer had ever heard her, but if he’d just correctly comprehended what she’d shouted across the phone, he could see why.

    “Wait, excuse me… you have a _what?!”_

    “A soul, dumbass.”  And now he could hear her rolling her eyes, more reminiscent of his usual demon.  “Felt it… _something…_ this morning.  Don’t ask me how I know, I just do.  I feel… different.”

    “Is that even possible?” Chloe asked, coming behind Lucifer to wrap her arms around him and resting her cheek against his back.

    “It shouldn’t be,” he shook his head, rubbing a thumb gently over the hand she had curled around his waist.  “I’ve never heard of it happening.”

    “Linda thinks it’s because I’ve spent a few years now up here, feeling human emotions that weren’t rage and pain, and like, _makingfriendsandfallinginloveandstuff…”_ the last part was a low mumble, barely audible, but Lucifer with his celestial hearing heard it well enough.

    “Why Mazey, I never would have expected it of you,” he teased, laughing delightedly.   “Although, we must have a talk about you going to Doctor Linda first about these things…”

    “Like you would have known what to do,” she snorted, and ah… there was the audible eye roll again.  “Anyway, speaking of, doc mentioned something about you guys having a reincarnation problem, so we’re gonna head back to help you losers out with that.”

    Lucifer suddenly frowned, and Chloe knew that if he’d had his wings out, the feathers would have puffed up in indignation at the implication that Maze clearly didn’t think he could handle it on his own.  “We’ve got it under control, Mazikeen,” he said curtly. “You don’t have to cut your vacation short on our account.”

    “Nah, it’s cool.” She dismissed his concerns.  “We were just about done here anyway. We’ve fu-”.  At Chloe’s cleared throat, she changed directions. “Fully christened basically every surface in Aruba.  With our… _lovemaking.”_ Lucifer could hear her scrunching her face at the words (some things never changed), and Chloe just sighed.  An effort was made, at least.

    “Alright then, we’ll see you at home, Mazey, Eve.  Fly safe and pray if you need anything, darling. Well, actually, I suppose Maze could pray to me too, now, since she has a soul and all.  Although I’d know if you were in trouble anyway, so I suppose it’s kind of a moot point…”

    _Shut up,_ Maze prayed, then Lucifer could _feel_ her brighten.   _Hey, this praying bullshit will be useful after all._

    Lucifer could feel a headache coming on.  Well, at least it was only Maze. Hell help him if Brad ever got a soul...


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh look! This is a Good Omens Crossover now! I've been wanting to do one for a while, working out the particulars in my head and everything, and then I thought to myself, why not work it into the plot of this fic? You certainly don't NEED to have read/watched Good Omens to enjoy and understand this, but it will certainly be even more fun if you have!

Chloe walked into the penthouse to complete silence- rather disturbing, considering the fact that she’d left both her daughter and her boyfriend there a few hours before.  She’d had to go into work that morning because there was an issue with some paperwork after the computers crashed, and Lucifer would have gone with her except for the fact that nobody else was available to watch Trixie.  It was fine though, luckily, because Lucifer was always happy to spend time with ‘the offspring’ and was surprisingly affectionate with her, although he would clam up and evade responding if anyone commented on it outside of Chloe or Trix.  

They certainly got into all kinds of trouble together, which is why the silence worried her.  However, listening harder, she could hear the credits to Mulan playing on very, very low volume, and walking into the spacious living area, she found the endearing sight of both of them fast asleep.  Lucifer’s wings were out, one wrapped protectively around Trixie. She was wrapped so securely, in fact, that Chloe wouldn’t be able to reach her without potentially falling forward, so she leaned forward and placed a kiss on Lucifer’s loose, fluffy curls.  He stirred slightly, looking up at her with drowsy brown eyes. 

“Chloe?” He asked groggily, and her heart clenched at the way he said it.  Even half-asleep, the way he said her name was slow, reverent, like a whispered prayer from the lips of the devout.  She smiled gently at him. 

“Hey baby- have fun?”

“Mmm,” he grumbled, still half asleep.  “The urchin wanted to watch Frozen again, but I managed to talk her into Mulan.  I knew her and Shang, back in the day. A bit different from the movie, of course.  For one, poor Sheng was  _ incredibly  _ sexually frustrated for a while there.  For understandable reasons, ‘Ping’ wouldn’t let him get past first base… suppose that’s neither here nor there, though, not with the whole ‘saving China’ bit taking precedence.”

Chloe laughed and leaned into kiss him again, on the lips this time.  He responded eagerly, reaching up to wrap around her waist with his spare wing (the only limb he could move at the moment without disturbing a still-sleeping spawn).  They could have stayed like that all afternoon, relegating the reincarnation incident of a few days earlier to the backs of their minds as a one-off to be further investigated later, if only Lucifer hadn’t suddenly shot bolt upright, gasping.  Chloe knew that it would have to be something quite serious for Lucifer to momentarily forget that Trixie was asleep against him.

“Luci? Mommy?” she asked languidly, reaching up to half heartedly rub at her eyes with one small hand.  “Whas’appenin?” 

“There’s a rift in the bloody multiverse, and it’s not mum’s universe.  Bloody buggering fuck, I didn’t know there even  _ were  _ any besides those two.  Of course, Stephen Hawking suggested it, so I shouldn’t be so damn surprised… bloody dad and all his fucking secrets.  Oh, it’s just closed, so I suppose that’s…  _ something,  _ at least.”

Chloe was too caught up in the fact that  _ a hole in the fucking multiverse  _ had just opened up that she didn’t bother to reprimand him for swearing in front of Trixie (which he made a genuine effort not to do anymore, since she’d asked him). 

“I’m sorry- there’s a  _ what  _ in the  _ what?!” _

Lucifer, not being great with human emotions or social interactions, seemed to actually think that she must not have heard him the first time, and opened his mouth to repeat himself, except that his phone rang.  It was Maze, and he hit  _ accept.   _

“Lucifer, did you feel that?” she shouted without preamble.  For lack of any other emotion she was able to deal with effectively, Maze had settled, as she often did, on anger.  “What the fuck  _ was  _ that?”  As a demon, Maze could certainly sense major supernatural events within a certain radius, although certainly not as well and with not nearly as much accuracy as Lucifer or another angel, and how  _ well  _ she could sense them depended on how major or disturbing the event was and how close she was.  As this event was creating a  _ major  _ disturbance very close to her, she knew something major was up.

“An interdimensional gap to another universe,” he answered, and Maze immediately started swearing in Lilith, Mum’s name coming up quite a few times.

“No, it’s not  _ mum’s  _ universe, it’s another one, one I’m not familiar with,” he cut her off in the same language, and Trixie looked on in wide-eyed delight at the rough, rasping language the two were exchanging.

Maze swore, and Lucifer  _ tssked.   _ “Yes, yes, I didn’t know that there were more than just the two either, but that’s a later problem.  Oh, here comes Amenadiel.”

He kept the phone on speaker as he turned to his brother.  “You could have  _ phoned,  _ you know,”  he greeted techily.

“I  _ tried,”  _ the other angel sighed.  “The line was busy.” He glanced pointedly towards where Maze was still ranting away on the coffee table.  

“Oh, my bad,” Lucifer shrugged.  Amenadiel waved him off.

“Nevermind that- we need to figure out how mom crossed over.”

Lucifer lifted his head sharply, looking at his oldest brother in genuine surprise.  “It’s  _ not  _ mum,” he bit out, incredulous.  “Can’t you feel that?”

“No, I can’t, and I’m not sure how you can, but troubling implications of the multiverse aside, that’s rather a relief.  Now if we could only figure out where the fissure occured, we can go assess the damage.”

“It’s two blocks behind the precinct, at the back by the dumpsters near that coffee shop that is, rather conveniently for us, closed today.” 

“How on  _ earth  _ can you feel that so precisely?” Amenadiel gaped at him.

“How  _ can’t  _ you,” Lucifer snorted.  “It’s like a bloody neon sign- you must still be adjusting to having your wings back, mate.”  He whipped his own feathery appendages back out and wrapped an arm around Chloe. “Beatrice, darling, you should stay here until we know more about what we’re dealing with.  If you stay quietly there’s a hundy in it for you, and you can go online shopping with my credit card and buy whatever you want until we get back, deal?”

Although Trixie wanted to argue that seeing where the multiverse opened would have been  _ amazingly  _ cool, she couldn’t argue with those terms, and she’d hear it all later from mommy and Lucifer anyway, so she nodded her head and held out her had.  Lucifer laughed and slipped not one but two hundred-dollar bills into her open palm. “Good urchin,” he declared, patting her teasingly on the head before the three adults disappeared in a gust of wind that left a lock of hair tickling her nose and whipped the throw blanket off her legs.

_________

The alley was nearly entirely normal except for the lingering feel of supernatural dissonance and two confused people, or at least what appeared to be people.  Masculine presenting, one was shorter and rather charmingly chubby, wearing a white suit, and the other was tall, lean, and redheaded, wearing black and looking as if he wasn’t entirely accustomed to a human body, regardless of the amount of time he’d undoubtedly spent in it.  They  _ looked  _ to be human, but Lucifer, Amenadiel, and Maze (who had met them there, luckily being quite nearby after dropping off a bounty, since she didn’t have wings) all reacted in various states of surprise and discontent.  Lucifer stood rooted to his spot, Amenadiel took an involuntary step back, and Maze stalked forward, hissing. The bulk of her ire seemed centered on the taller of the two.

“What the fuck  _ are  _ you?” She asked, knives out, clearly seconds from pouncing and shredding him to ribbons.  “You’re not an angel.”

“Most certainly not,” he gasped indignantly in an accent even more British than Lucifer’s, and the devil noted idly that he looked exactly like David Tennant except for his snake-like eyes.  “I’m a demon, darling.”

“No, you’re  _ not,”  _ she hissed, and he just barely missed being impaled on a celestial blade.   _ “I’m  _ a demon.”

“Not any of the sort  _ I’ve  _ ever seen, but yes, I suppose I see what you’re saying,” he mused.  “What do you think, Angel? Where do you suppose we landed? One minute in our quiet little bookshop in Soho and the next in, what is it?  Los Angeles? Ironic, that. Certainly not the  _ right  _ Los Angeles, though.”

“No, I’m afraid not.”  Lucifer, as always, was the first to find his voice.  Crowley eyed him appraisingly. 

“Ahh, one of the fallen, I see.  Handled it rather well, you did. Most of us look bloody wretched, but you don’t even have the wonky eyes.  Completely human looking, that. Make a deal with the big boss?”

Lucifer growled, and he began to glow faintly with a divine light.  Crowley and Aziraphale glanced on in confusion and slowly dawning horror.

_ “I’m  _ the big boss,” he informed them in a deep voice.  “Not  _ a  _ fallen,  _ The  _ Fallen, the  _ only  _ fallen.”

“No…” Zira gasped slowly, jaw hanging down.  “That’s not… you can’t be… you don’t feel…”

“I suppose in your world, I’m not the lightbringer anymore?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow as he willed his glow to fade, his eyes turning from a searing, ineffable white to his usual (albeit very handsome) chocolate brown.  

They both nodded mutely.

“Eh, well here I never lost that power.  Devil and angel both, I suppose you could say.  The one and only fallen angel, king of hell and lord of the demons.  ‘Cept Maze,” he nodded towards his scary friend. “She does whatever she wants.”

“Damn right.”  The not-quite-the-right sort of demon twirled her knife, putting it away with apparent reluctance.  “So, what’s it like in your world, then, that you’re so weird?”

If Chloe had been less surprised (and she didn’t suppose she could  _ be  _ surprised anymore, but here she was) she would have scolded Maze not to be rude to these people- angels, demons, whatever- just because they were different.  But she could only stare as demon-David Tennant brushed himself off.

“Well, for a start, demons are all just fallen angels.  When you- er, Satan,” he quickly amended, seeing Lucifer’s dirty look, “when  _ our  _ Lucifer fell, he took everyone who rebelled with him down as well.”

“Not much of a bloody rebellion on my end, really… all I did was ask for free will, and, when asking nicely didn’t work, I threw a few punches.  Michael hurt me more with his bloody sword as they all ganged up on me than I did anyone else, and the bloody prick seemed way too happy to chain my wings and toss me down at Dad’s orders, the prick…”

“Wait, your  _ dad’s  _ orders?” Aziraphale asked, voice a bit squeaky but surprisingly strong under the circumstances, all things considered.

“Yes, my blood father- God,” Lucifer reiterated impatiently.

“But God is a woman!” Crowley blurted, looking more put off by this than anything else.  

“Not here, he’s not,” Maze grumbled, trying to glare a hole in the side of a building (if it had been sentient, it surely would have responded, burning itself away just to avoid the scary lady’s wrath).

“Bugger, your world must be a right mess then,” Crowley sniped.

Chloe snorted, beginning to feel slightly less discombobulated.

“Huh, must be nice,” Lucifer remarked, before looking at Aziraphale.  “So,” he told the blond, “you’re clearly a full angel, though certainly not one of the major ones, I’d venture to guess.  What’s your name, then?”

“Az- Aziraphale.”

“Huh, here  _ you’re  _ a woman, how bout that?  And not nearly so pasty. Seriously, if angels sunburned, you’d be in trouble.”

“Hmm,” Aziraphale agreed faintly.  He didn’t know what it was like to be an angel here, but as far as things went with  _ his  _ angel biology, he’d most definitely sunburn without either a miracle or some sunblock.  He had more important questions, however, so without looking at Maze, he mumbled a question in her general direction.

“So, if you’re not a fallen angel, where exactly did you come from?” he asked, quaking slightly.  The flaming sword would be right useful about now, although somehow he doubted that would help.

“Lilith,” she answered shortly.  Crowley brightened.

“Ahh, Lilith, I always liked her,” he declared jovially.  “Not a demon, but not quite human either. Took a lot of guts to defy the Almighty and demand to top, always admired that about her.  Set an example for every rebellient human after. Poor mousy little Eve though, not quite as brave and sentenced to a lifetime of Adam for it.”

“Hey, that’s my girlfriend you’re talking about,” Maze barked, stepping up and pinning him to the wall, knife to his throat.  “And Lilith was a  _ shit  _ mother.”

“Apologies,” Crowley tried his best not to whimper as he spoke quietly enough that his throat wouldn’t move into the blade.  “In our world Lilith never had any children. Sort of just wandered around and then made her own little space in hell after the whole thing.  None of us bothered her, although Hastur once tried to tell her that her little cottage with all the flowers and the trellises didn’t go with the aesthetic of the head office.  He was  _ violently  _ discorporated after that.  Had to get a whole new body, far inferior to the first one, and everyone left her alone after that.”

Maze begrudgingly backed away, dropping the knife.

“No disrespect meant to your girlfriend,” Crowley continued quickly, eager to clear the air with the other, different, far more  _ violent  _ and skilled demon (he and Zira were never really fighters, and he had no doubt he’d not hold out in a brawl where his supernatural abilities were of no use).  “I mean, Eve is a real sweet slip of a lass, Adam was just a bit… you know, I suppose. If she’s moved on, I doubt the bloke was any better on this side of the multiverse.  It wasn’t even her that caused the trouble, really… didn’t get kicked out until  _ he  _ ate the apple, so that one’s on the men.”

“So it was really an apple, then, in your world?” Chloe asked.  

“Why of course, dear girl,” Aziraphale replied, befuddled.  “What else would it be.”

Lucifer grinned like a cheshire cat, but Chloe beat him to it.  “My boyfriend’s penis,” she declared, completely deadpan.

The devil snorted, slapping his knees and looking at her with such a lovestruck expression that the sun  _ actually  _ brightened for a moment before a nudge from Amenadiel prodded him to get control of himself again.  It would be confusing meteorologists and astrologists for months to come.

“Well then,” Crowley quipped.  “Really was a devil’s threesome.”

“Damn right.”  Maze finally glowered a little less, giving Crowley a once-over.  The other demon knew that he was being assessed.

“In my defense, I’m much cooler when I haven’t just fallen through a rift in the bloody space-time continuum.  Got my Bentley and some dark sunglasses and all that.”

“Uh-huh, sure.”  Maze rolled her eyes.  She knew a twink when she saw one.  She’d seen plenty leaving Lucifer’s penthouse in a satisfied haze, after all, back in the old days.

“Why don’t you and your boyfriend come with us, back to my brother’s place,” Amenadiel offered.  

Aziraphale puffed out his chest, looking like a discontented parakeet.   _ “Excuse you,”  _ he declared, “this man is my  _ husband.”    _ He entwined Crowley’s fingers with his own and lifted their hands, pointing emphatically to the wedding rings.

“You’ll have to forgive my brother, he’s an ineffable moron,” Lucifer smiled gracefully at them.  “But you’re more than welcome to come back to my place and we can set about seeing what happened, and hopefully how to get you back home.  I’ve got a lovely bar of top-shelf stuff, and I’ll get us a nice lunch, hmmm?’

Crowley grinned impishly back at him, already infinitely preferring this version of Lucifer.  “Why, I suppose we could be tempted,” he agreed, as he and his Angel unfurled their wings, ready to follow them home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is especially long; it took three sessions to finish, although that could just be my short attention span. Also, I've included a personal headcanon of mine for Lucifer Morningstar here that I know that at least a few of my fellow neurodivergent fandom members share. Please be nice, even if you don't agree with my characterization of him. Also, I didn't get to include as much of our ineffable husbands as I would have liked to in this bit, but the parts I did are quite entertaining (at least I think so). Happy reading!  
> Love,  
> Des

“We’re home, Spawn!”  Lucifer cried out as they stepped off the elevator, Crowley and Aziraphale taking a good look around the penthouse.

“What a _marvellous_ library you have here, Lucifer!” the plump little angel declared gleefully.  “Why, is that an original copy of the code of Hammurabi I see? Simply splendid!”

“Yes, well I do take quite a lot of pride in my literary collections,” the devil remarked just a bit grandly, wrapping a casual arm around the small child that had launched herself at him (and it was touching, how natural his affection with Trixie had become, the way he not only accepted her hugs but returned them easily).  “Beatrice, this is Crowley and Aziraphale- they’re an angel and a demon from another universe.” He didn’t go into the whole ‘serpent of Eden bit’ because that might prompt the girl to question who was the serpent in this universe, and he certainly didn’t want to explain to the child that it wasn’t a ‘who’ so much as a ‘what’ (and that that what was rather connected to him, and used to give her mother previously-unimagined levels of pleasure nearly every night, and sometimes two or three times or even more, if Chloe was feeling particularly randy.  As for Lucifer, he’d eagerly do it as many or as few times as she wanted, or even none at all, just for the joy of being with her).

“It’s very nice to meet you,” Trixie said cheerily, looking the husbands up and down.  “I really like your snake eyes, Mr. Crowley!”

The demon looked quite taken aback, and felt oddly warmed inside in a way that children did not often make him feel.  “Why thank you, implet. I’ve most unfortunately lost my sunglasses on the trip through, and it is quite lucky we flew here, as most humans would not take to the sight near as well as you would.”

“Yes, well, Beatrice is most unusual when it comes to humans- she takes after her mother that way,” Lucifer remarked, giving both of his girls a bright smile that literally lit up the room.  Amenadiel made a note to talk to Linda about bringing it up in their next session- as nice as it was to see his brother happy, he’d need to work on his automatic responses to Chloe’s presence, because it would not be good for the humans at large to discover divinity just because Lucifer was sappy in love and went around glowing all the time.

“Lucifer, chill, or you’re gonna blind us all,” Maze broke in with a smack on his arm, and he shook his head before looking around a bit dazedly and seeing that the room was far brighter than it should be.  

“Oh, apologies,” he muttered, as they all stopped shading their eyes with their hands.  “So, what can I get everyone to drink?” he asked, ever the gracious host as he walked to the bar.  For himself, he began to pour a clear liquid from a canafe. Crowley’s eyes widened in recognition, and he hissed and scrambled back.

“That’s holy water!” he wheezed, terrified.

“I know,” Lucifer responded nonchalantly, taking a large gulp and somehow not fizzling violently out of existence.  “It’s got a sort of zingy taste. I prefer it to La Croix.”

“How are you not dead?!” Crowley squeaked, backing further away, Zira’s gentle hand rubbing his shoulder reassuringly.

“Why?” Lucifer looked up, mildly intrigued and raising a wry eyebrow in amusement.  “Did you poison it?”

“Why the bloody ‘ell would I go anywhere near that _vile_ stuff if I didn’t have to?” Crowley refuted.  

The devil rolled his eyes.  “For Dad’s sake, Crowley. It’s just water spiked with just enough ritualistic faith and ambient divinity to make it taste bubbly.”

The snake-eyed demon continued to shake like his plants in a flat in Soho a universe away.  “I… I’ve seen that stuff kill our kind, dissolve them away into nothing but smoking dust.”

Lucifer shrugged.  “Well, it does give Maze indigestion, I suppose, so I can’t blame you for not wanting to drink any, but you don’t have to treat it like the bloody plague.”

Crowley was not reassured, staying where he was and muttering something about how he hated the fourteenth century.

“Very well, if it bothers you so much I’ll pour the rest down the drain,” he said, finishing his glass and dumping the carafe in the sink.  Crowley actually yelped when a droplet jumped to the edge of the counter, but Lucifer just grabbed a cloth and wiped it up.

“There we go, all gone.  Shame too, as it’s really hard to find any decent stuff; have to have some real belief to make it any good, and that’s rather rare these days.”  He slipped the empty bottle into the dishwasher under the bar and reached for a bottle of Chloe’s favourite red wine and the appalling sugary yellow concoction that Trixie adored, something called “Tampico, piña colada flavored” (which he put in a nice glass bottle, because he _refused_ to have that hideous plastic jug on his liquor cabinet.  It most certainly had absolutely nothing to do with making her feel more included or anything, or so he would insist).

“What are we feeling for lunch?” he asked as he made drinks for everyone, dropping a unicorn-shaped stirrer into Trixie’s before handing it to her.

“Greek?” Amenadiel suggested.  If Maze had been there, she would have demanded something else just to annoy him, but she’d gone back to Eve after pouring herself a generous amount of brandy and downing it in one gulp.

“Sure,” Chloe agreed, and as far as Lucifer was concerned, hers was the only voice that really mattered, so he was on the phone with their favourite little place in no time at all.  Luckily, Aziraphale and Crowley loved a good spinakopeita, and Zira had been craving some lemon orzo soup for a few days now.

When the delivery guy came, Lucifer sent him off with a wad of bills large enough to pay the rend on a studio and told him to keep the change, and Chloe cracked a smile in the background at his wide eyes.  One of the things she regretted the most about the way she’d handled the whole ‘reveal’ situation was that she’d actually tried to pressure Lucifer into becoming what she saw as ‘better,’ when she should have opened his eyes and seen that he’d been that way all along.  He might not make a regular practice of going to volunteer at soup kitchens, but she’d learned since then that her partner had been making quiet donations to every homeless shelter in LA. Ironically, he was the reason that the soup kitchen she’d dragged him to that day had enough to give everyone who came there good, well-rounded meals where none of the patrons went away hungry.

“What’s that look on your face for, my darling?” Lucifer asked her, scrunching his eyebrows adorably.

“Just… you,” she told him, laughing and reaching up to kiss him sweetly.  The devil almost dropped the food, his cheeks going red. Everytime she kissed him felt like the first time, and somehow he never felt quite prepared for it.

Crowley took the opportunity to lean down and press a light kiss to the corner of Zira’s mouth before reaching for one of the takeout bags.

____

Three days later, and there hadn’t been any other openings in the fabric of reality, so Crowley and Aziraphale were stuck there for the foreseeable future.  They didn’t really mind though, as a romantic vacation together was always nice, and Lucifer was an amazingly gracious host. Besides, here they didn’t have to worry about their respective head offices having any potential opportunity to bother them.

So while Crowley was taking Aziraphale to a nice, high-end sushi restaurant (Lucifer had cashed in a favour to get them a reservation on such short notice), Lucifer and Chloe were once again at work, the best crime-fighting team in the LAPD.  A queen and her king. Currently, this queen was typing up a report while Lucifer interviewed an old Albanian witness, by virtue of being the only one who could speak to her. While Chloe couldn’t understand what was being said, she knew by the tone of Lucifer’s voice and the blush on the old woman’s cheeks that he was being as charming as ever, and the old lady patted him maternally on the arm as he finished their conversation and kissed her hand, motioning for a uni to take her home safely.

“Anything useful?” Chloe asked him, and Lucifer shook her head.

“Nothing we didn’t already know,” he sighed.  “But she did give me a lovely recipe for Tavë Kosi.  It’s a baked lamb with yoghurt sauce, simply magnificent.  I’ll cook it for you as soon as we’ve wrapped up this case, my love.”

Their tender moment of staring lovingly into each other’s eyes was interrupted by a coworker, the new department psychologist for their precinct, a woman by the name of Abigail.

“Morningstar,” she called for him.  “We’ve uh, got a witness for one of Espinoza’s current cases; she’s around age fifteen and she’s definitely not neurotypical and you know, she’s been through a lot lately and she’s clearly uncomfortable here so I thought that it might help if she was interviewed by someone who was also, you know, on the spectrum.  Just to make her a bit more at ease and what not.”

Lucifer cocked his head and furrowed his brows at her in an expression that should not be so absurdly adorable on a man so sinfully attractive.  “On the spectrum?” He asked. “But what would her not being ‘neurotypical’ have to do with my being bisexual?”

“No, not that spectrum, I mean…” she suddenly faltered, looking awkward… “You’re not… autistic?”

Lucifer looked confused.  “Not that I know of?”

Chloe scanned her colleague with a discerning expression.  “What would make you say that?” she asked her.

“Well, I mean… he tends to hyperfocus on things a lot, and then he’s always uh, you know, taking things super literally and what not, from what I’ve noticed.  Like sometimes a joke goes right over his head. And while he’s great with charming people, it’s always on a very basic level- he seems to have trouble navigating certain social interactions or avoiding social taboos, so to speak.  And of course he’s absolutely brilliant, his rote memory is unparalleled, and he’s so fastidious with his appearance, liking things a certain way. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to assume, I just thought…”

“No, that’s alright,” Lucifer waved her off.  “I just had never considered it, I supposed. I’d be interested to hear more about your thoughts on the matter at a later time, however.”

Chloe considered it too- it made sense, she supposed.  Of course, Lucifer’s lack of social understanding could be do in large part to the fact that he had been kicked out of heaven before humans existed and had only had any real meaningful contact with them for the last decade or so.  Then there was the fact that he was abused by his father in the literal worst possible way. But… he had been a bit of the odd one out, even in heaven, and… it made sense, now that she thought about it. She suspected that Linda would have noticed it eventually, but the first part of his therapy had been mainly focused on what she thought were his delusions, and then after she found out that he was the devil, well… that sort of put an entirely different perspective on things, and even the best psychiatrist would probably never think to question that the literal _devil_ was autistic.  But Abigail was new, and she hadn’t really seen much of Lucifer going around and declaring himself the devil, and she’d only seen his actions and interactions from a professional distance.  That put an interesting spin on things. Maybe it was just that being a different species, abused as a child, and then subjected to profound trauma and isolation had created very similar manifestations.  Or maybe the love of her life was actually the world’s first aspie. She shook herself out of her reverie as Lucifer and Abigail continued their conversation.

“Well, if you’d like me to, I’d certainly be willing to interview the girl,” he told the woman, and she agreed gratefully, still rather embarrassed by her earlier blunder.

“You’ll wait outside the door for me, won’t you (here he inserted a pet name in Enochian, a musical little burble in his throat that he’d told her translated roughly to something along the lines of ‘my queen, my goddess, my everything)?”

“Of course,” she agreed, and he put his forehead against hers and whispered something else in Enochian, and Chloe didn’t know what it meant, but she did know that it was so full of affection that it made her chest tighten as she let out a soft gasp and kissed the edge of his jaw.

“That was another reason that I… well, I suppose it was a rather unprofessional assumption to make, but going non-verbal is such a huge indication of being on the autism spectrum, and he’s always making those melodic little chirps and humming or singing to you like that, so I supposed my professional preconceptions just got in the way of me doing my job in an accurate manner, ironically…”

Chloe couldn’t actually respond to that with “oh, that’s actually my partner’s native language because he’s an angel and that language is actually older than the entire world or anything we humans have ever spoken, and also maybe don’t refer to it as ‘chirps’ in front of him because he hates avian comparisons,” without sounding absolutely insane.  So instead she just nodded.

“Yeah, he just… he speaks a lot of languages (like, _all of them,_ she thought to herself) but he always says that none of them are really enough to tell me how much he loves me, so he just…”

“That’s really sweet.”  Abigail smiled at her.

Inside the conference room, Lucifer was leaning on his elbows on the table in a relaxed, non-threatening fashion.  He’d been quite surprised to come into the room and feel that the girl was actually another reincarnated soul, but he’d managed to retain a neutral expression.  The girl had come home to find her mother gone and blood all over the kitchen floor, her mother had been found hours later beaten to a pulp in an old warehouse, and now she was recovering in hospital with no idea who had attacked her; the poor young woman had been traumatised enough, and he could deal with the implications of her secondhand soul later, with Chloe and the rest of the celestial insiders.

“It’s alright, you don’t have to make eye contact,” he told her gently.  The only reason he would need it was for his ‘mojo’ and she was a witness, not a suspect, so that was unnecessary.  “I understand that you’ve been through a very traumatising ordeal, Ms. Scott,” he told her. “May I call you Daniella?”  At her nod, he continued gently. “I know that this is difficult to talk about.” He leafed through the files. “Your father said that you and… that sometimes you prefer to use ASL.  I’m fluent in that as well, so would that make you more comfortable?”

She nodded again and began to sign.

“I…” her hands faltered.  “I don’t know why anyone would want to hurt my mom.  She was a social worker; she helped people.”

Lucifer gave her a sad smile, eyes seemingly ancient with wisdom gained from eons of undeserved pain.  “Unfortunately, dear one, the world can be cruel like that. But perhaps there was someone acting strangely around her, or being antagonistic towards her that she might have told you about?  Anything you can tell us helps.” He chose to speak out loud in response to her signing, hoping that the soothing cadence of his voice could calm her, the way it did for Beatrice after she had a nightmare.

She was quiet for a moment, her hands still before she responded.  “I… my mom sometimes has people get upset with her, at her job. Usually it’s just kids who’ve had a hard time and are lashing out.  But I hadn’t heard anything out of the usual lately. My dad might know…”

“We’ve had someone speak to your dad already, and he mentioned an old boyfriend of your mother’s that bothers her on occasion.  Do you know anything about him, maybe?” Lucifer prodded, as gently as possible.

“Oh, Jason.”  She fingerspelled his name, audibly sighing as she did so.  “He mainly just sends cards on her birthday and their old ‘anniversary’ but they haven’t dated since high school.  He’s creepy and obsessive, but usually he only ‘runs into’ mom once or twice a year, so it wasn’t enough grounds for a restraining order, they said…”

“We’ll go and pay a visit to this Jason fellow then,” Lucifer promised her.  “I swear to you that we will do our best to get justice for your mother.” Under the table, he typed out a text to Amenadiel.

 _Need a small miracle,_ he told his brother.   _A healing for a Mrs. Audrey Scott.  She’s in Olympia Hospital, room 203.  Would do it myself, but you’ve got the whole ‘time’ thing going for you.  Besides, your feathers are a bit less conspicuous. Wouldn’t want a repeat of the whole warehouse incident._ The entire forensics department was still making water-cooler talk about the bloody feathers from the scene of the fight with Cain.  The unspecified DNA was causing them all to scratch their heads and throw up their hands, and Lucifer had to call in a favour to keep the ‘phenomenon’ from making its way into every science convention in the country.

 _Alright,_ Amenadiel texted back after about a minute.   _But I want an explanation later._

Lucifer just mentally rolled his eyes and sent back a string of emojis before turning back to Daniella.  “Thank you, Ms. Scott. I know this wasn’t easy for you.”

She just gave him an impassive half-smile and played with a strand of hair between her fingers.  Lucifer told her that a uniformed officer would escort her to her father and gave her his phone number to use in case she needed anything before he went back to Chloe.

“She’s… been here before,” he whispered in her ear as he placed a hand lightly on her back, the touch so soft it was little more than a brush of warm fingers.

 _To the precinct?_ Chloe prayed into his mind, sensing that he wanted to keep the conversation private.

Lucifer shook his head no.  “She came from… up north,” he whispered significantly, doing his best to make it appear as if his lips on her ear were just a soft brush of affection and not a conversation.  Being as in love with her as he was, and also taking the opportunity to drop a gentle kiss on her earlobe while he spoke, it’s safe to say he achieved his goal fairly well.

Chloe’s chin tilted nearly imperceptibly upwards, a question in her eyes, and Lucifer confirmed with a nod.

‘I’ll text everyone, tell them we should get together for dinner,” she remarked with forced levity as they walked out towards the car, ready to go pick Trixie up from school.

_____

Lucifer ignored various lust-filled looks from other parents in the pick-up line as he braced himself for the full-impact of an eager Beatrice at top-speed, putting his arms out to receive her as she launched herself at him and just managing to appear as if he was embracing her only reluctantly as he spun her gently around and then moved her to his hip.

“Hello, Urchin,” he greeted, brushing the tip of her nose surreptitiously with his thumb.  As much as he might try to appear disinterested, his attentions upon the offspring were still gathering that very particular brand of horny mum looks that are directed towards the ever-sought but sadly quite rare archetype of ‘unbelievably attractive hunk who is also a good father’ sort of man.  Lucifer might not notice, but Chloe felt herself bristle possessively. Susan from the PTA better back the fuck off before things got ugly at the next bake sale.

“Hi Lucifer; Hi mommy!” she squealed, barely stopping to breath before she segued into an enthusiastic recounting of her day.

Lucifer, as always, gave her his full attention, talking to her like he would with anyone else (which is part of what Trixie loved about him, that he never talked down to her or treated her like she was dumb just because she was little).  Chloe smiled as she watched them interact, her worries over the next celestial headache temporarily fading into the background.

When they got back to the penthouse, they found Crowley and Aziraphale huddled around the radio.

“So, how was your da-” she began, but Crowley raised a hand to shush her.

“Shh, God is talking,” his angelic husband explained, as they listened with rapt attention to the radio interview, a puzzled expression on both their faces.  “She’s obviously telling us… _something,_ but we’re afraid She’s being rather ineffable about it.”

Lucifer snorted, throwing his expensive coat onto one of the barstools.  “That’s not God, that’s Frances McDormand,” he told them, barely restraining a fit of raucous laughter.

“But… but it sounds just like God,”  Zira reiterated, a little less sure.

“And Crowley is a dead ringer for David Tenant, but that doesn’t mean he is,” Lucifer stated.  “Things are different here.”

“I… I do suppose you’re right,” Aziraphale sighed, voice wavering a bit.  “It’s just… it’s all so terribly confusing; not that we aren’t enjoying ourselves immensely here,” he was quick to add.

“We’re doing everything we can to figure out what the me is going on,” Lucifer reminded him.  “Say, you don’t happen to have reincarnation in your world, would you?”

“No, why would we?” Crowley looked at him, puzzled and a little disbelieving, as if he’d just said something very stupid.  

“Hm, thought not,”  Lucifer murmured. “Still, that doesn’t get us any closer to figuring out why reincarnated souls are suddenly popping up here for the first time in history.  And if they’re not a part of your world, either, then that just tangles things up a bit more. We’re about to have a celestial insiders meeting to try to make a bit more sense of things, if you’d like to attend.”

“Oh, it sounds lovely,” Aziraphale declared giddily, tenting his hands in that way he did after a particularly scrumptious meal or when he was quite contented.  Crowley secretly thought it was positively adorable and endearing (not that he’d ever tell anyone that).

“Positively _tickety-boo,”_ Crowely agreed, in a sardonic sort of way that implied an inside joke was thrown somewhere in there.  Then he turned and caught sight of the telly, which Trixie had just turned on, and started screaming bloody murder, falling ass over tits on his ridiculously long legs, his sunglasses going flying and his snake-like pupils blown so wide they overtook the whites of his eyes.

“Satan! _Satan!”_ he screamed in abject horror, his voice ten octaves higher than normal.   _“Lucifer’s come for us!”_

Chloe turned to see what had him so worked up; it was the beginning of some awards show or red carpets premiere, but Crowley was pointing a finger at the figure on screen and absolutely _convulsing_ in abject terror.  She scrunched her eyes in confusion.  

“You’re frightened of Benedict Cumberbatch?”


End file.
